Thinking and thinking....

Have been thinking alot lately...as usual...amidst all the crap i have to do =)

My life....what have i achieved...i guess...if i wanna say concrete achievements...dun tink any. I guess what i gained in life that i value alot..probably friends ba. I mean...Leong Shi Yun here isn't a CAP 5.0 person, not a straight As student, not someone who's pretty and has lots of suitors...Not someone who's lovable...not a well-known person...I'm just a small character. I haven't been given what i want for most of the time...esp love life. hahaha... But i guess the only gift i have is the friends i have. So many awesome friends...decent and awesome. But i guess being greedy is kinda human nature? I want more...I want to achieve more in my life so that on my deathbed, i can tink of all the achievements i have...and not regret.

I've set some goals but of cause whether i can fufill them is another issue. I'm gonna live my life to the fullest. Do what i like, do what i can. And i really feel super lonely ...esp now i'm 21 yrs old...I hope whoever up there, please let me find my Mr Right soon. Now i'm being very explicit =) but really...Sometimes i ask myself ...right now what do i want most. I want a guy whom i can love...and a guy who loves me. That's all i need. I dunno...i tink i treasure love alot...and i'm alreADI ready to get married anytime because marriage to me...is not a burden...but a bliss. At every wedding dinner i attend...every ceremony i attend, i cry. I ask myself...why are u crying...I juz feel so happy for the brides....You have finally found ur happiness...starting a new chapter with the guy...so many years of happiness you will enjoy. Seeing them, I ask myself...would this day come for me? Would i ever get a chance to walk down the aisle with my future husband? Saying how much i love him and how much i love my parents on the stage? Hahahahaha i know i'm kinda "young" to be thinking all these...but i juz can't help but think of these stuff...the ideal life with my husband...i actually like big families...so i would really wish to stay with his family (provided they are nice of cos...i dun lyk big family who quarrels everyday) Everyday....come home from work...help mother-in-law prepare dinner while waiting for hubby to come home...hubby come home...greet him with a kiss...while he smiles at the food we prepared. Simple life...and i like it. Probably cause i dun see such scene around me...all i see was...how the wives resent their husbands after yrs of marriage. I wonder how that can happen. I mean if u married this guy...you love him don't you...Sometimes i can't stand it when women...keeps focusing on the bad points of their husbands...even my mom complains abt my dad sometimes. I always ask her...then why din u tink of all these when u married him? why don't u see the good side of him. He's the best dad ever...although sometimes...all the restrictions suffocate me...but i knoe he loves me. He's the best husband ever i would say. I always told my mom...if my future husband is as good as daddy....i will die without regrets. He's such a responsible father and husband...The best thing abt him is he's very honest...He puts in effort in whatever he do. I need a guy like daddy ....but i guess...such guys already extinct le la har..hahahha even still exist...they are already endangered. So i must always remind myself...int he future if i have a husband...i mustn't compare him with my dad or anyone else...cause ...the more you compare him with others...the more you resent...the more you dislike him. When you really love someone...you won't compare him to anyone else because he is the best (in your eyes of cos).

Ok i should stop emoing ya...but i really hope this guy will appear soon...cause i seriously...waited too long >.< Guy..........I need a guy........lalalalal hahahah Taeyang should give me the permission to sing this song hahahah Talking abt TY, BIG BANG IS BACK! yeaH! hahah today is a good day anyway...Big bang's back with their new album...and best thing? DIDI COMING BACK AFTER 2 WEEKS IN THE DISGUSTING PULAU TEKONG! gonna stay at home on friday to spend more time with him...though i tink he will spend more time with his comp or bed. But i'm glad to see him again! I can't wait!!!!!