regrets...

I told myself I'm not going to do things that I'll regret. Yet again I can't control myself. Regrets...i have alot. Nowadays, it gets worse...Are my speculations really true? What else can i use to explain my mood swings? It gets worse during the onset of my monthly cycle...but even without it...sometimes i get worked up. Irritated. I dunno why...After throwing temper...Just that minute after it...I "wake up" and wonder...why did i even do that? Why did i say that? Like something or someone has possessed me. Sometimes i'm scared of myself. I dun even know why i did certain things. Mood swings...a major hindrance in my life. I'm bipolar i guess...the mood swings are way too extreme. I just want to say sorry to all the friends who suffered from my mood swing. I shouldn't have been so worked up i guess.

I've been trying to think of GOOD and HAPPY things lately. But bad thoughts just flood my mind. My life looks like a total failure to me now...but i have no guts to give it up in any way. Studies....I'm not coping with it well...Relationship....love seems so near but yet so far....friends are the ones i'm trying to keep now. If i lose my friends....nothing's left for me. But my mood swings always screw things up. I hope it won't get worse...i got to curb it i guess...but sometimes it juz carn be controlled. It happens...and then i regret...and i wonder why i did it. Thanks to all those friends who haven't abandoned me. I need to try to get out of dark periods...prob need more outings with friends...CSI OUTING WITH JING AND JAS DURING HOLS IS MY NEXT TARGET! JAPAN!!!!!!!Totally looking forward to it. I got to cross the hurdle first...stupid finals...>.< Serene...JIA YOU!!