Never felt this before....

For the first time in my life...i have something that can make my brother feel proud of me...something that makes me proud of myself too...

All along...i was just a nobody...I'm not smart, not pretty, not outspoken...no one notices me...no teacher paid attention to me. My primary 6 teacher can actually ask me what's my name when i went back to see her the year after i graduated from ChongFu Primary. I can never ever catch the attention of any teacher.

Today...i was freaking surprised and touched when my brother told me what his biology teacher has told him IN FRONT OF HIS WHOLE CLASS. I was so moved that i actually broke down in tears. This was what happened:

Ms Choong, my JC2 biology teacher, was looking through the namelist and she pointed at my brother's name. She told my brother's biology teacher that she has taught his sister, who is ME!, before. So my brother's teacher told Ms Choong that my brother is using my notes now for some of his revision and she was curious what kind of student i am. Ms Choong told her "His sister is quite a brilliant student."

This may seem NOTHING. It is probably nothing...but it means everything to me. I was never called "BRILLIANT" in front of my brother before. Although he's my younger brother, he's always so good in everything...so intelligent. I always felt so ashamed as an elder sister that there isn't much he can learn from me since he's so good in everything. He always does us proud...1st in level...1st in jap...He's so good in his japanese...all his subjects, his CCAs...everything. I'm always...a nobody...average girl in class with average intelligence...Thus one of the reason i cried was that...i finally have something that can make my brother feel proud of me.

Secondly, why i cried was because i was glad that she noticed me...She knew i was there. She appreciated my hard work...She saw my efforts. She was being nice when she said i'm quite brilliant. I'm not brilliant as i've always told my friends..It was all my hard work. i needed to work so darn hard to earn what i have. If they were good results...it meant my efforts paid off. If bad results...it just meant that i really need to work harder...my intelligence did not really play a part since i'm not a bright kid. I remembered what Ms Choong said to me before prelims, "Shiyun, you are capable of an A. You just need to work even harder and i know you can do it" I felt so flattered. ME? CAPABLE OF AN A? ARE YOU KIDDING?! Those words of encouragement gave me more motivation to work towards my A in biology..But to my disappointment...I got a B...and i felt so bad cause I disappointed her. But those words continued to ring in my head...telling me that i GOT TO EARN AN A to prove her right. And i did.

Thanks Ms Choong for what you have said...thanks for making me feel worthy enough to live...thanks for even NOTICING MY PRESENCE. I've never felt this before...never felt proud of myself before.